When it hurts to remember
by shu-chan77901
Summary: another Pride!Ed fic. This one's different though. Ed comes back as Pride with no memories of what happened. What happens when those memories start to come back. Will he stay with his old lover or go with Envy. RoyEd PrideRoy EnvyPride R
1. Prologue

When it hurts to remember

Prologue

"When it hurts to remember, never forget that everything I did was done for you."

Almost lifeless golden eyes opened and looked around the room. Six other people stood around the room, and instantly the anticipation written on their faces became clear.

"You're the new Pride." a woman with black hair stated as she folded her arms over her chest. "I'm Lust, that's Wrath, Greed, Gluttony, Sloth..." the woman, Lust, trailed on before being interrupted.

"And I'm Envy." a tall girl...no boy, with long greenish black hair stated as he jabbed a thumb to his own chest. He oddly resembled a...dare I say it? A palm tree...?

The new Pride dropped to his knees, and stared into what looked like a puddle of blood. Sure enough the person he though he was, was gone.

The hair that he'd worked so hard to keep in a braid spilled over his shoulders in golden waves. Red markings adorned his body, and sure enough the mark of the Homuculi rested on his shoulder.

He looked at his dead reflection in the water. How could this have happened? He'd just wanted to get his brother's body back.

He racked his brain for the memory of how this happened, but none came. "Let's get out of this dump. Father's waiting for us." an impatient Envy stated.

Pride tried to stand up on his own feet, but fell back to the cold, hard cemented ground. "Can you walk?" the voice of a woman came. Pride figured that this woman was Sloth.

Pride tried again, but to no avail. Everyone stared at the youngest homuclus. Envy rolled his eyes, and proceeded to pick the younger up.

Once safely in his arms, the boy passed out. This was just too much for him to comprehend.

_"Ed, are you sure you're going to be okay while I'm gone?" a familiar voice called from a shared bed room. "Yeah, I'll be fine." The impatient reply of a certain full metal alchemist resonated from the living room. _

TBC

Okay here's the prologue. I know it's short, and I promise to try and make the chapters longer. Please read and review. If you review you'll make me update faster. I'll try to update at least once a week. This story is something that's been swimming around in my head for God knows how long, so please be nice. Oh, and no flames. I eat flames for breakfast.


	2. chapter 1 pain in remembering

-When it hurts to remember-

I do not own fullmetal alchemist (Forgot to add this in the prlogue so don't sue.)

Please R&R enjoy

-Chapter 1-

-Pain in remembering-

Pride sat on the edge of his bed. Envy had left him there while he reported to Father and Dante. It had only been a day since he'd arrived at his new home, if he could call it that.

He wasn't too sure. Something just didn't seem right to him. For the life of him, he couldn't figure it out though.

"It seems we have finally gathered the seven deadly sins, but we still have no stone." a very impatient Dante hissed to the eldest sin. "Well, we might be able to get it if we can find the younger Elric. He ran off after trying to bring back Ed."

"Tell the others to get started on the search. Take Pride with you. Maybe it'll draw the boy out."

XDXDXDXDXDXDXD

"Winry, Ed's gone." a mourning Al cried into her shirt. "Al, I know. It hurts right now, but in time things will get better. I promise." Winry tried to comfort the boy, but in her heart she knew it was no use. Those brothers used to be like peanut butter and milk. They always stuck together.

"It's all my fault! If it hadn't been for me he'd still be here. An eternity in a suit of armor would have been better than this."

----------

"Ne Edo-chibi, wanna hear about your past?" Envy asked a little too cheerfully as he entered the room. Golden eyes gazed into cat like violet eyes.

"You had a brother. We've been given an assignment. We have to go find him. He disappeared." Envy had a strange look in his eyes. There was something about it that Pride didn't like.

"I'm not Edo. My name is Pride. Call me Pride." he chided him for not calling him Pride.

"Ne Edo..Pride...you use to be Ed. Ed died and your brother tried to bring you back. Thus you became a homuclus. We already went over this. If I were you I'd get revenge." Pride had a feeling that he was going to say something like that.

"Let's go then." Pride stated as he jumped to his feet. Maybe this so called brother knew something that he didn't.

"General Mustang, you'd better be doing your work in there." a very frustrated Riza called from her desk as she polished her favorite gun.

The General let out a sigh. He looked at a small picture that Maes had given him after Ed's death. The only thing that had been going through his mind lately was a small blond haired chibi.

Why did fate have to be so cruel? Everyone had been happy. Al had begun to accept that there might not be a way to get his body back.

Roy fingered a small velvet box that he'd been carrying around for some time now. How long had it been? Not very long. All he knew was that it hurt.

Just then the door slammed opened. He'd half hoped that it was his fiery lover, but his hopes were dashed when he saw blue. Ed would never have worn the uniform.

Roy had always secretly hoped that he could have at least seen Ed in it once, but now he never would.

Riza plopped another stack of documents on his desk. She knew how he must have felt. She'd loved Ed like he was her own child.

"Colonel Hawkeye, I'm going to take the rest of the day off. I need a break." The woman just nodded, knowing the reason why her commander wanted to leave. The memories here were just to painful for him. Sometimes they were for her as well.

:D:D:D:D:D:D:D

Pride stood in a tree as he waited for Envy to return. "Why couldn't they just leave me dead?" he asked himself. The weird thing was that, that hadn't sounded like him in the least. He ignored it though.

"Ed..." he then tested the name on his own lips. Something about it. It felt so familiar. "Elric..."

The other homuclus had told him briefly about his past, but something about it just seemed like a far away story, kind of like something that you'd tell a little child as a good night story.

"Yo, you ready?" He snapped out of his thoughts as a certain palm tree like homuclus jumped onto the branch next to the young Pride.

He nodded as he followed close to the one called Envy. "Did you find anything?" Pride almost felt like he had to ask that.

"I did, and I have a plan on how to get some revenge. It includes you getting dressed up." Envy replied as he eyed the used to be alchemist.

Some very provocative thoughts passed through his mind. He'd have to have some fun later, but first it was time to work.

The homuclus swiftly traveled through the country side, and before long they arrived at Resimbol. (a/n: sorry if I misspelled that. I've seen it written in so many ways.)

The small, green village seemed a little too familiar to Pride. "What is this place?" Pride asked as he landed gracefully on a roof top next to Envy.

"This was your home place." he replied eying the few houses that sparsely littered the country side. "And, you see that over there. That used to be your home." He pointed to a place that looked like a house had burnt down.

Pride frowned at it. What was that familiar scent? "And that's where your brother's staying. Time to dress you us." Pride looked at his wardrobe.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" "Oh, you'll see."

Roy sat on his sofa. His house seemed so dark lately since Ed had been gone. It might seem unbelievable to most, but Ed loved to see colors in Roy's house.

Roy buried his head in his hands. He didn't want to let go. There was always a small chance that he'd come back to him. Every night, Roy went to bed hoping that in the morning a head full of sun colored hair would blur his vision like it used to do, but every morning, it turned into nothing but empty hope.

Sometimes there was just too much pain in remembering.

TBC... Here's the first chapter. Hope you enjoy. The next chapter will be updated in a couple of days or so. aka, whenI get off of my lazy butt and stop procrastanating. I have the next two chapters already written for you guys. I think you're really going to like this story. Please keep reading.


	3. Chapter 2 dressed up in my imperfection

When it hurts to remember

I don't own FMA, sorry if I did I wouldn'tbe writing fanfic. Anyway, sorry it took so long to update. Things have been rough lately. I'll update again in a week or so. Hope you enjoy. Please leave me a review. I'll update faster with more review.

-Chapter 2-

-Dressed up in my imperfection-

"Not a single man who has ever lived has ever been perfect."

Pride couldn't take his eyes off of his new wardrobe. Part of him like it, but then deep down there was a part that hated it. Why? He couldn't tell you even if you paid him.

Envy stood behind him, braiding his long golden locks. He slid the rubber band on to keep the braid in place and the admired his work. Never in all his four hundred something years of life had he seen something so beautiful.

"There, no you look just like him." Envy stated as he took a few steps back. "Do we need to go over the plan one more time?" Pride shook his head, not wanting to have to listen to Envy rant and rave about, "How could you forget? We'd just went over it."

"Good then, let's get going." Pride followed suit after Envy. The heavy clothes made him feel slightly weighed down. _"Ed..." _That name floated through his mind again.

_"Ed...I love you..." _Flashes of pieces of memories floated through his mind. He had to stop.

_"Ed, I should be back in about two days. There's food the the kitchen. I made special care to make sure it was full before I left." "I love you too." A small alchemist stated as he reached up and wrapped his arms around his older lover's neck. "I just wish that you didn't have to go." _

_"I'll be back as soon as I can. I promise. This could be my big chance to become the Fuhrer." _

"Yo O'chibi-Chan, are you coming or what?" Envy's impatient voice called out through the silence splitting it like a knife.

"Envy...was I...er...Ed ever in love?" That seemed like a rather random thing to ask, but Pride really wanted to know. He didn't care if it was random or not.

Envy stared open mouthed for a moment before he began to concoct a very, in his own thoughts, evil plan.

He walked over to the unsuspecting young Pride, and crashed his lips down upon the younger. He stared wide-eyed in shock.

Envy relished in the young Pride's taste. If you'd have asked him, he'd have said that the younger tasted like milk and honey.

"How could you have forgotten so easily? I'm hurt O'chibi." he replied feigning a fake hurt expression. Pride stood there shocked for a few moments.

"Gomen..." Pride finally whispered snapping out of his stupor. "Then tell me you love me." Envy stated trying his best to hide the smirk on his face.

"I love you." The younger replied. "Good, now let's carry on with our plan." "Okay." Pride stated as he jumped from the roof on which they'd been hiding,

"I'll wait here!" That was the last thing he'd heard before coming upon the house in which he was supposed to knock on.

Envy stood watching. "Man was this going to be fun." he thought to himself as his eyes remained glued to the younger one's backside.

He was so perfect, and yet at the moment he was dressed in his imperfection. "If Ed could see himself now." He laughed to himself as he grinned evilly to himself.

TBC... thanks for reading


	4. Chapter 3 unexpected visits

When it hurts to remember

-Chapter 3-

-unexpected visits-

"Unexpected things happen to those who least expect them."

One Colonel Roy Mustang climbed off of the train as it stopped at the Resimbol. He decided to pay a visit to Ed's grave. He fingered the velvet box that he refused to relinquish since Ed's death.

Maybe things would get better. They always did right? No, things like that only happen in fairy tales.

That didn't stop him from hoping and praying to a God that he wondered existed. First, he thought he'd pay a visit to Ed's dear brother Al. Maybe it'd do the boy some good to see an old friend.

Roy remembered the day that he'd bought the ring. Al had been with him.

_"I think it's so good that you and Nii-San are finally going to be together." Al's high pitched voice echoed through his mind. "Would you do the honors of helping me pick out the perfect ring?" Roy remembered asking. "It's be my pleasure." Al was never one to let someone down who asked for help. The two of them spent that whole day going from jewelry store to jewelry store in hopes of finding that perfect ring. "What do you think of this one?" Al pointed to a silver band with a red stone. "I like it. Do you think he'll?" "Of course, no one knows Nii-San better than I do." Al had replied, and thus the ring was bought. All that was needed was the perfect timing. _

Roy could almost laugh at the irony of it all. In fact he did on the way to the Rockbell's house. This was a path that he hadn't planned on walking until him and Ed were one.

It's funny how, just when everything is going great, fate turns on you like a terrible bout of the flu.

Roy saw the familiar road. It had been the same one that he'd walked the day he responded to Ed's and Al's letter. Part of him couldn't help but wonder if he hadn't come here that day would things have been different. Would he have ever met Ed? Would Ed be alive today.

He stopped dead in his tracks as he stood just feet away from the Rockbell's door. An all to familiar blond head stood in the door way just staring at the door.

Roy had to rub his eyes to make sure he wasn't dreaming. When the figure didn't go away the realization hit him that he wasn't. This had certainly been an unexpected turn of events. Part of him wanted to run up to him, and drop to his knees. He wanted to bond the younger one to him and never let him out of his site ever again, but he didn't.

XDXDXDXDXDXDXD

Pride stared at the door for a few minutes before reaching out and knocking like any normal person would. He had this strange feeling that he was being watched, but he figured that it was just Envy making sure that he did his job.

Pride, even though he found it a meaningless thing to do, silently went over the plan in his mind again.

The door cracked open, dim light slipped through the crack, and...

TBC...I'm so mean. Here's the next chapter. Please R&R

THANK YOU TO ALL OF MY REVIEWERS!


	5. Chapter 4What hurts the most

When it hurts to remember

-Chapter 4-

-What hurts the most-

"Everyone has something they regret."

"**I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house, that don't bother me. **

**I can take a few tears now and then, and just let them go**

**I'm not afraid to cry**

**Every once in a while though going on without you still upsets me**

**There are days**

**Every now and again I pretend I'm okay, but that's not what gets me."**

_Roy sat on the train fingering the velvet box. He was planning all the small details for that perfect night. He was going to take Ed out to a fancy dinner. Only the fanciest would do for such an occasion. Then they were going to catch an early movie. After that he'd take his love to the park, and there he'd ask the question that would bound them together for all eternity. That time never came though..._

The door cracked open, dim light slipped through the crack, and a scream filled the small home. Pride stood there dumbfounded. He'd certainly hadn't expected this.

A huge tin can looking suit of armor came to the door after the blond girl took off running back into the house.

Roy stood far off, from any of their sight. He couldn't believe this. What kind of trick was this? He pinched himself again to make sure he wasn't dreaming.

"**What hurts the most, was being so close and having so much to say. **

**And watching you walk away**

**Never knowing what might have been**

**And never seeing that love in you**

**Is what I was trying to do." **

_A phone call was made that day. A phone call that would change everything. Tears fell from a broken man's eyes as he stared at the ring in the box that was meant only for the one he loved. Envy...a word that would forever burn in his heart. He was envious of what happened. He envied the one that separated him from his love. Envy was what tore them apart. _

"Nii-San...it worked. You're back." Pride bit back the urge to yell at the tin can. _"We were so close..." _a voice seemed to echo through Pride's thoughts.

The tin can pulled the shocked sin into his arms, and, what Pride thought, was trying to squeeze the life out of him. "I'm so glad you're back. We were so worried. Now we can all be happy again."

At this, Pride fought to break free. "Let me go!" the boy pleaded. What was he even doing here again? He turned to run, but was stopped by this man with jet black hair and eyes so cold they could freeze over hell.

He grabbed the confused Pride by his wrist and proceeded to pull the boy into his grasp.

"**It's hard to deal with the pain of losing you everywhere I go, **

**but I'm doing it.**

**It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone**

**Still harder getting up, getting dressed, living with this regret."**

"They told me you were gone." For once, in what seemed like way to long, the new General Mustang smiled.

"Let me go!" a still very confused Pride all but screamed. "No, I'm never going to let you go again." he cooed as he proceeded to pet the boy's golden mane.

Suddenly, the all but happy reunion was brought to a halt when an all too familiar palm tree let lose his laughter. "This is all too sweet, but I'm afraid it's time to end this." He pretended to wipe a fake tear from his eye.

"**But I know if I could do it over I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart that I left unspoken."**

The man, Pride still didn't know his name and was too scared to ask, pulled him as close as possible. If Pride was eternal he'd have thought that the man was going to kill him right then and there.

"**What hurts the most, is being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
Never knowing, what could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what I was trying to do."  
**

"Would you be so kind as to get your greasy hands off of MY chibi?" Envy asked as he stalked over to where said chibi was.

Pride seen that glint in his eyes again. He looked up at the man. "You're chibi? What makes him yours?" the man asked.

"This." Envy pointed to the mark of the homuclus. "Someone was dumb enough to try to bring him back. That very person is in this very room."

"Envy..." said chibi whimpered. He didn't understand. All these pictures kept flying through his mind. Why was it that when he looked at this man these strange emotions flew though him and wailed up painfully in his chest?

"**What hurts the most, was being so close  
And having so much to say  
And watching you walk away  
And never knowing, what could have been  
And not seeing that loving you  
Is what i was trying to do."**

_"Ed, I should be back in about two days. There's food the the kitchen. I made special care to make sure it was full before I left." "I love you too." A small alchemist stated as he reached up and wrapped his arms around his older lover's neck. "I just wish that you didn't have to go." _

Pride shook from the memory. Was that even his memory? "He's not yours." the two kept shouting at each other.

It was really starting to get on his nerves...something that you should never do. Envy had learned the hard way. Pride was just as bad as that fiery chibi. Let's just say that it had been a scary thing.

Pride stared as his temper rose. "Shut up, just shut up please!" Pride felt like crying, but he knew if he did Envy wouldn't let him live it down.

Dumbfounded, the man let his arms fall to his sides. This was all the incentive that Pride needed to run. "See, he's..." Envy was cut off when Pride ran right past him. The man raised an eyebrow at the look Envy was making.

It slightly resembled a gold fish that has a cat looking at in it's fish bowl...

"**Not seeing that loving you  
that's what I was trying to do…"**

**TBC... the song I used was What hurts the most, Rascal Flatt. **Hope you liked it. Please review thanks to all my reviewers


	6. Chapter 5Memories, how they do haunt us

Sorry it's been a while. I've been busy latey with a bunch of family things. I just got back from my aunts house late last night. Enjoy though R&R. this is where the rating goes up a little. This is the reason I rated it M. no likey no read. This is my first shot at this kind of scene so don't be too hard on me, kay?

-When it hurts to remember-

-Chapter 5-

-Memories, how they do haunt us-

"Everyone has something in their past that they want to hide."

Pride sat at the edge of his bed. All these thoughts kept crossing his mind. Who was he really? What happened? Who was that man? Why did he seem so bent on keeping Pride close to him?

There were just to many unanswered questions, and Pride didn't have a clue on where to start looking for answers.

The door slammed open some time later. Pride didn't know how much later after he'd arrived home.

After what had happened, he'd ran all the way back to the comfort and safety of his own room. Envy looked pissed. He was dripping went from head to toe. He looked as if he'd just tried to swim the ocean or something.

'Of course he's wet. It's been raining for like two hours.' Pride thought to himself as he stared at the homunclus in front of him.

He was so mad that Pride swore smoke was coming out of his ears. "Where did you go, chibi?" he growled dangerously as he stalked over to the bed.

"I came home." he replied in a scared tone. Envy looked as if he might pull out his hair in anger.

Suddenly he stopped what he was doing, ranting, and a sickening smirk crawled onto his thin lips.

He began to strip his wet shirt. (If you can call it that) and began to crawl in bed. Pride yelped in surprise as he soon found himself pinned to the bed.

"Nee...Edo let's play." he purred seductively into the younger sin's ear as he licked the shell. Pride yelped.

"Please...don't..." he whispered almost to no one. "Nani...What was that?" Envy asked sitting up and straddling his waist.

Flashes of a certain black haired General suddenly flew through the younger sin's mind.

Before he knew it, something that he thought was a memory flew through his mind.

_"Rooooyyyyy!" someone cried out as said person came in them. Said person soon collapsed onto a younger person. "I love you, Roy."said a tired voice. "I love you too, Ed._

Envy made quick work of the younger sin's clothes. "I want to hear you scream my name." Envy purred as his fingers played with the smaller one's backside.

"Please..." Was all Pride was able to get out. He was still slightly dazed from the memories. Envy glanced at his toy. Pride's almost dead eyes stared blankly into the ceiling.

With a shrug of the shoulders, Envy took him again and again and again until he grew tired.

That night, Pride dreamed of a certain black haired General.

TBC... sorry for the cliff hanger. I had to cut my lemon/lime whatever it's called off before it got too much detail. Hope you enjoyed though. Please R&R


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